Alright, let's get this straight. NBCUniversal thinks a cookie notice is going to cut it in 2025? Give me a break. It's like putting a band-aid on a severed limb.
So, they're "explaining" how they use cookies and "similar tracking technologies." Similar? What, like they're also implanting microchips in our brains while we binge-watch The Office for the tenth time? Don't insult my intelligence.
The whole thing is framed as giving us choices. "This Notice provides more information about these technologies, your choices..." Choices? The only choice I see is whether to accept their surveillance or not use their services. That's not a choice; that's a hostage situation.
And the types of cookies they list? "Strictly Necessary Cookies." Right. Like the other ones aren't strictly necessary for them to maximize their ad revenue. "Personalization Cookies"? Oh, how thoughtful, they're personalizing my exploitation.
I mean, let's be real, nobody reads these things. They're designed to be long, boring, and confusing, so people just click "Accept All" and move on. It's digital consent theater.
They tell you how to "manage" cookies, with links to browser settings and opt-out pages. As if the average person has the time or the technical know-how to navigate that labyrinth. It's designed to be overwhelming. Offcourse, that's the point.
And even if you do manage to disable some cookies, what then? You're still being tracked. They'll just find another way. It's like trying to stop a flood with a teacup.

They even admit that disabling cookies might make some parts of their services not function properly. So, you're penalized for trying to protect your privacy? That's rich.
Speaking of penalties, I'm still waiting for the cable company to explain why my bill goes up every year, even though I cut the cord. But, hey, at least I can "manage" my cookies now, right?
Then there's the other gem: "Access to this page has been denied because we believe you are using automation tools to browse the website." So, if you try to avoid their tracking, they block you? Talk about a transparent power move.
It's like they're saying, "You have the right to remain silent, but anything you don't say can and will be used against you."
But wait, are we really supposed to believe that their system can accurately detect "automation tools"? Or is it just a convenient excuse to block anyone who's using a VPN or a privacy-focused browser? Access to this page has been denied.
And what about the Reference ID they provide? Is that supposed to make me feel better? Like, "Here's your unique identifier for being denied access. Have a nice day!"
This whole thing is a charade. NBCUniversal's cookie notice isn't about protecting your privacy; it's about protecting their profits. They want to track everything you do so they can sell you more stuff. And they'll use every trick in the book to make sure you can't stop them.
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